As she looks at the reflection staring back at her, she notices the wrinkles that she was sure weren’t there yesterday, Then she notices around her eyes. Crows feet. Isn’t that what they’re called? How did these wrinkles come out of nowhere? Her eyebrows that she overwaxed in her late teens and early twenties when thin brows were in now look sparse until she fills them in with her brow tint and brush. Her eyelashes that were once long or were they really? Or are the constant daily images and ads she never asked to see with eyelash extensions tricking her to think hers used to be better. Should be better. Her hair feels different and is thinner now. She used to have such great hair, but she’s sure even back then she didn’t think so at the time. She looks at her chin and the jowls that have formed. The hereditary double chin now looks like the air has been let out of her face from the years of gaining and losing weight. She pulls the skin back to picture what it would look like if it were surgically fixed. Her arms. She hates them. No matter how much she works out and lifts weights, the extra skin and stretch marks at the back of her arms just hang. Her breasts hang and look deflated with no shape. Her stomach never looks flat enough despite all the ab workouts she has done faithfully through the years. She envisions what it would look like if she got a tummy tuck and removed the skin that hid the chiseled abs she imagines is underneath. She would also take away that extra skin on her back. Her legs that she carefully tones with weights to give definition and shape. She has always liked her legs that are long, but she even manages to find faults and flaws in them too. Where her thighs meet and loose skin from standing on her feet all those years of doing hair. Her backside, that was once toned, looks flat from the years of going up and down in weight from eating disorders that she suffered in for much of her adult life. She sees all the flaws. Every single one, but now as they are pointed out through the reflection she sees, it’s different.
She remembers why she sees them and who is pointing them out to her and she talks back to the lies firing at her faster than she can realize what is happening. She looks at the woman, the girl, the little girl staring back at her in the mirror and she speaks to her with a different voice. She closes her eyes and she says, “God, give me your eyes and help me to see myself the way that you do.” And He reminds her of who she is to Him and she recites His words that she has hidden in her heart for times like this and He tells her this and calls her by her name
“You are my daughter and I created and love every single part of you. I know every single detail of you. There isn’t one thing I would change. Where you see flaws I see beauty. Wrinkles will come in their time, but My wisdom will too. Your eyes and lashes and brows are just what they should be. Don’t try and keep up with what others are doing with their face and body. Only keep up with what I’m doing and what I want for you. If you choose to see what he will continually point out to you before your eyes even open to start your day, that’s all you will see. Where you allow him to take your focus will be where your mind goes. Even if you cut every part of you off and made the “perfect” image that he places in yout mind, it will never be enough. He will always point out more. It his job. He lies and his goal is for you to believe him. When I see your arms, I see a strong woman that had lifted the weight of her own burdens who finally handed them all to me after years of Me pursuing her to let me. On your stomach remain the scars of you carrying your three daughters’ life inside of you. Where they grew and were nourished inside you until I brought them outside of the protected womb of their mother. The stretchmarks and looser skin that remain, mark the scars of My daughter trying to fight the battle of weight and control on her own, apart from me. People spoke things over you and labeled you things that I would never say to you or want you to believe. They were lies that became your identity, but thats never who you were to Me. You fought in your own strength, not realizing I was waiting for My daughter to let Me in her heart to help her. To fight for her. To heal her from the years and moments that were stolen by him. On your chest bear the evidence that you nourished and fed your daughters with the milk I created your body to give them until they could eat food. Your legs are what has held you and now help you to keep your feet firmly planted on the ground so you will be unmoved by the enemy of your soul’s lies. They are strong and have borne the weight of your body every day that the enemy has tried to destroy since the time you were a small child. You are my daughter. He cannot have you. He has a plan every day to destroy your self worth. He points out every flaw hoping you’ll take the bait and believe him. He wants to convince you that you are not good enough or perfect enough. He wants you trapped in shame of every single mistake and believe his lies through people, social media and the never ending images of what the world says you should be. You have always been perfect to me. You are made in My image. Don’t change one thing about you. Yes, it’s important to take care of your body, but I have shown you how. You no longer starve yourself and then binge and purge your food. You don’t cry over the toilet anymore with your tooth brush in your hand begging Me to make it stop hurting, not even knowing why. The voice and lies the that convinced you to starve yourself so you felt you had control. Then convince you that you need to get rid of what was inside of you that you just quickly consumed in seclusion where no one would see. I saw him lie to you. I was there fighting for you. Then, there was the day you gave Me the control that you thought you had, but didn’t. You trusted that I would heal you and I did. You have come a long way My daughter. It’s taken time, but that’s okay. Healing is a process over time, not just one moment or event. Don’t ever let him tell you what you’re not. Remind him who you are and who you belong to. In the seasons where your body will continue to age and change as hormones fluctuate and leave you to question that you’re not yourself anymore, he will always come back and try, but I will be there too. I always have been. I will never leave you. He wants your focus to be on you, so you will miss the mission that I have for you. When you’re focusing on yourself, you are listening to him and not me and this life and your purpose is missed, which is always to point others to Me. I will use this. I will use the scars and flaws that you see so others can see My light through you. Others will see that he has lied to them too. When they see you, they won’t see the flaws he wants you to see everyday. They will see Me and be set free too. What the enemy tries to convince you is worthless, I see as priceless. I love you, My daughter. There is not one thing I would change, When you look at yourself, choose to see Me. There isn’t anyone else I would want you to be. This body I gave you here won’t last forever, but you will live forever with me in eternity because you invited Me in. You will age here. You will have to let go, so you can hold on to Me and the promises that I have given you in My word. You can choose to fight it, but in that you will be fighting Me. Choose Me, because I always choose you. He has always tried to convince you that you need to be perfect and look perfect. One day, when you leave this earth and are with Me for eternity in Heaven you will be, but for now you are made perfect in Me. For your time and life on this earth, I want My other daughters to see Me through the what he tells you are imperfections. If they see you trying to keep up with what the world tells you you should be, then they will think they need to be perfect too. I don’t want that for them and I don’t want it for you. Be thankful for the scars. They remind you of who you are and how far I have carried you and who you belong to. Don’t ever get frustrated with the amount of times I have to remind you of this. I will tell you every day if you need me to. Stay close with me My beautiful daughter and you won’t ever forget. He will always try to get you to, but I won’t let him. You are precious to Me. I am fighting for you every moment of every day. Keep going, keep fighting and I will show you how. I will strengthen you so you can strengthen others and show them who they are to Me. That they are precious to Me too. I will never leave you. I am with you always. Just talk to Me. Invite me in every moment of every day. I love you my beautiful daughter.
Jeremiah 1:4-5-5, 5 NLT
[4] The Lord gave me this message: [5] “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”[5] “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.
Hebrews 13:5-6 ESV
[5] Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” [6] So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
”Proverbs 31:17, 25-26, 30 ESV
[17] She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.[25] Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.[26] She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.[30] Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Psalm 139:1-18, 23-24 ESV
[1] O Lord, you have searched me and known me! [2] You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. [3] You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. [4] Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. [5] You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. [6] Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. [7] Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? [8] If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! [9] If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, [10] even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. [11] If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” [12] even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. [13] For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. [14] I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. [15] My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. [16] Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. [17] How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! [18] If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.[23] Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! [24] And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
Copyright ©️ Jennifer Lyn Fletcher
Honest Journey 