As I sit here waiting outside his hospital room with just my thoughts and my prayers
Hoping and praying that he knows how much I care
Praying for his soul and to break the chains of addiction that have bound him for so long
With the enemy trying to tap thoughts in my mind of all the things I’ve done wrong
Did I contribute to making him turn to the drugs that are killing him everyday
If I could go into his room and and talk to him, would I know just the right words to say?
Would I comfort him and console him and point him towards you
Would you guide me in everything I say and do?
Would he see how much I love him and pray for him even though I didn’t give him life?
Would he know that watching or hearing him go though this cuts as deep as a knife?
Will he ever know the prayers that have covered him every moment of every day
When we as his parents couldn’t be here and all we could do is pray
To let him go until it was time when he would take the help he so desperately needs
To try again and again praying this time he succeeds.
That this time he will stay sober
And we won’t have to keep doing this over and over
Taking a piece of our heart watching him kill himself inside
With tears running down our face and pain with no place to hide.
Will he know how much we plead with God watching him get sick because he hasn’t had any drugs that day
Or the days we see him and he doesn’t look okay
Will he ever know how much it hurts to watch him suffer in pain
To watch him is unbearable and drives us insane
To watch your baby hurt and you can’t stop it on your own
To never want him to ever feel alone
To feel like a failure to think something we did made him this way
But know he makes his own choices everyday
Will he know our love for him has saved him all along
Will he know how many times we’ve felt something was wrong
That we would literally save him from anything if we humanly could
To pray so hard he understood
The love and prayers that keep him alive each and every day
The prayers that are tears because we can’t form words to say
To cry and mourn for the reality of what brought him to the point of the choices he’s made wondering how
Knowing there’s nothing we can do to fix it for him now
To let him go to face his own choices
Praying to God that he will hear our voices
Pleading for God to save him from the drugs that took him away
The drugs that lead us to question everything he would say
The drugs that took him from a little boy to someone else who tells us what we want to hear
Who leaves us with this unending fear
Will he ever be free from the chains that are swallowing him whole here on earth
Will he ever know his immeasurable worth?
Will he ever see himself in our eyes
Shaking our fists in the air through our cries
Will he ever find the sobriety he’s so badly needing
Or will he finally be free when his heart stops beating?
As his parents and siblings to walk through all we have endured
If our love could save him, he would be cured
God please take care of our Son and wrap him in your love
When he feels alone, we pray he looks above
To you so you can uphold him with your righteous hand
And when he’s confused give him wisdom to understand
Protect him throughout the day and while he sleeps at night
Giving us peace knowing he’ll be all right.
Send Angels to be with him when we can’t be there
Make sure he knows how much we all care
Please be there when he desperately calls
We ask that you break the chains of this addiction once and for all
We ask this each and every day
In Jesus name we pray
Honest Journey 